heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize