Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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