Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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