OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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