But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
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I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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