The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
is wine microwaveable?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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