i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
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how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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