It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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