I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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