why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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