Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize