It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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