Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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