Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so that wasnt chicken after all
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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