I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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