i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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