I'm so fucking centered right now
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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