that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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