Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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