There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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