I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize