Just fell off a train. Bad.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
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I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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