im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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