Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize