In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize