just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
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Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
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Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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