my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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