So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
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How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
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I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think we might need a safe word for this...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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