There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
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There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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