Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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