I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
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Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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