You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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