My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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