the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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