Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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