you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize