Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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