I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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