somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
either way he was missing a nipple.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize