You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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