I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
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