When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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