I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
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Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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