Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize