Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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