after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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