your thong is hanging out like whoa
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
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I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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