I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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