you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize