I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
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What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
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I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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